palatial new editorial offices shared by Exploitation
Retrospect and The Hungover Gourmet
are nothing to be sneezed at. Comfortably sleeping
six, the digs also sport -- as they like to
say in the real estate trade -- "all the
clarify this hip real estate lingo for the uninformed,
this refers to "modern conveniences,"
NOT "modern convicts," such as that
kook that shot up the Capitol building a few
talkin' brand new dishwashers, a microwave that
all but takes the ingredients out of the fridge,
a snazzy new oven, and one of those funky sealed
burner range tops. Granted, this has taken a
bit of getting used to, since yours truly is
a gas man from waaaay back.
importantly, the crib features a garbage disposal.
After years and years of having to dispose trash,
vegetable peels, leftovers, egg shells, canapes,
small animals, broken glass, watermelons, canned
goods, and bags of nuts in the archaic "trash,"
the garbage disposal has changed all that.
become too fascinated by the disposal, pushing
the limits to find out just what the disposal
could accommodate. You know, there's no manual
that says "Do put in a container of fruit
salad that's been in the fridge for a month."
Just like it doesn't say, "Don't put in
corn husks while you're making corn on the cob."
would've saved me three days of aggravation,
over $100, and the embarrassment of buying multiple
bottles of Drano and a plunger on a Sunday night
at the local supermarket. How do you possibly
explain that you need to dislodge corn husks
and corn silk, NOT a giant block of fecal matter?
days of trying to cook around the dishes, glasses,
pots and pans that were piling up in the kitchen,
we decided to order out for some Chinese food
from one of the local restaurants. We'd been
there for lunch and had take-out before, so
we figured this'd be a safe bet for dinner.
one of the things that always concerns me about
a Chinese restaurant is a menu that offers too
many options. I prefer a place that does a few
things really well, not a restaurant bent on
pleasing all of the people, all of the time.
can vouch for the fact that on this particular
Tuesday night, the food we got from Golden Chopsticks
(I know, I know) in Doylestown, PA was the second
worst Chinese take-out I've ever had. The order
of Steamed Pork Dumplings ($4.50) were unseasoned
and bland, wrapped in thick, doughy, chewy casings.
An appetizer of Eggplant Cake ($4.95) was an
oblong, deep fried, greasefest stuffed with
a thin patty of pork and shrimp. Alright, I
know, just what the hell was I thinking?!
weren't much better. My order of Kung Pao Shrimp
($9.25) was edible only because it was so spicy.
However, that can't be said for Mrs. Nitrate's
Chicken and Almonds ($7.95), an unappealing,
unedible mass of bland chicken and vegetables
in a gooey sauce that just tasted, well, bad.
In an area
with so many eateries, there must be a better
Chinese restaurant. Anyone that knows of one
can feel free to e-mail
us at our editorial offices.
is Better Homes & Gardens' attempt
at a Chinese meal from their 'Meals with a Foreign
Chinese Walnut Chicken
you're planning buffet for a dozen, double the
recipe. Serve in a warmer and border with rice,
as shown on the cover --
1 cup coarsely
1/4 cup salad oil
2 chicken breasts (raw), boned and cut lengthwise
in very thin slips
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup onion slices
1 1/2 cups bias-cut celery slices
1 1/4 cups chicken broth
1 tsp. sugar
1 tbsp. cornstarch
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp. cooking sherry
1 5 oz. can (2/3 cup) bamboo shoots, drained
1 5 oz. can water chestnuts, drained and sliced
toast walnuts in hot oil, stirring constantly.
remove nuts to paper towels.
into skillet. Sprinkle with salt. Cook, stirring
frequently, 5 to 10 minutes or till tender.
celery, and 1/2 cup of the chicken broth in
skillet. Cook uncovered 5 minutes or till slightly
cornstarch, soy sauce, and cooking sherry; add
remaining chicken broth.Pour over vegetables
in skillet.Cook and serve till sauce thickens.
bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, and walnuts.
Heat through. Serve with Oriental Rice.
Serves 4 to